finally, reality

i was often not in a very good mood over the last week. this had to do with what I call the disco ball effect: when things are shiny and glittery and whatever kind of interesting from outside but have no substance to them, if you take a closer look at them you realize they are completely empty (“außen glänzend, innen hohl”). now, i hate that. or maybe: I just cannot deal with that. my mind, but even more so my soul, were desperately longing for substance, for something meaningful, for something real. cause always trying to spend as much plus account money as possible (they give us 40 bucks a day on our student id card which we can only spend in the restaurants on and close to campus or in the campus convenience stores that also sell t-shirts. i’m so not into campus sports merchandise, but at starbucks they do have good cds…. well, anyway: instead of just handing us some money in cash they more or less force us to spend the plus account money on useless crap.), going to classes that are – well, lets just say, a little bit… suggestive and/or weird, and spending the rest of the time reading or going to the gym just could not provide my thirsty soul with anything.

hanging out on campus all the time gave me the feeling of living in a pink bubble and i do not like living in anything burstable. i like being earthbound and staying in connection to the ground i’m walking on.
so, now starting on friday, things changed. while i was almost falling into depression on thursday, our friday excursion to the underground railroad museum really gave my soul some food. the underground railroad was a network of people who helped people escape from slavery. the exhibition gave detailed information about the history of slavery in the americas and elsewhere, the abolitionist movement, the situation of african american people ever since and many other things and all of it really touched me. looks like fate or whatever wants me to deal with those things at this time - you see, the thing is, i have also been taking a class on major black writers here, which starts with the times of frederick douglass and harriet jacobs and as such makes me deal with the history of slavery all the time. the class is one of the best classes i’ve ever had in all my college time. the professor is a young guy who fulfils all of my american stereotypes with regard to his outward appearance and is currently working on his dissertation. he seems to know everything about what is to be taught in class, i mean, literally, everything, and he teaches in a way that really makes you reflect on the conditions of those people. i’m constantly on the edge of crying when i read about slavery. not so much, because it is so sad, which it is, too. but more than anything it is a desperate outcry over the injustice in this world and of course the profitability that went along with slavery and that made it happen – the fact that people lose all their sense for solidarity and all interest in other human beings if there is power and profit to acquire. the fact, that until this very day people use the means of division to rule and conquer the world.

the museum is located in cincinnati. we only had very little chance to actually see the city, but here’s some pics for you anyway:




in the evening bliss and i went to coffea which is a coffee bar we’ve been hanging out at a lot (because they are open til midnight, they accept plus account and they make the only real tea anywhere on campus at first, but now we’ve got to know all the people who work there, too, so our reason hierarchy was slightly shifted.) there we met lujza, a writing and esl teacher who was born and raised in budapest and moved to the us eight years ago. we talked for hours and then decided to walk downtown together the next day, which we then did yesterday. lujza first took us to the art museum on campus, where they have a temporary exhibition on local folk arts and also a permanent exhibition with some very nice pieces in it. we moved on to a couple of nice little stores with in germany so called alternative clothing and a lot of great and very cheap used books as well as all kind of other things, then we went to the movie theater to see adam, which is a very sweet, very gentle and very, very good movie. the theater is kind of old-schooly, i think lujza said it used to be a stage theater but then they made a movies out of it. it is really beautiful and reminded me of russian theaters.


afterwards we checked out yet another coffee bar and went to a restaurant with good (and real!) food and live jazz. the sax player was real good and for the first time for more than a year awakened a desire in me to take out henry and blow the horn again. jazz definitely does have a different sound here compared to europe, at least compared to bremen. it flows more naturally, it seems to have some way to it that it does not have on the theaterschiff, i even liked the guitar in it.


so, after this genuine american experience we went back to coffea, found out all of us were extremely tired so we went to bed soon after that. that was a long day.

yesterday for the first time i think we got an idea of what the locals really do and how they live and where they go. this is so much more real then any campus life going on here, and this is so much more interesting and even convinced me, that living and studying here – of which they try to convince us in this fulbright program – is a cool thing worthy to be considered. thanks again for showing us reality, lujza!